Why Tadase and Rima Went To Vegas
by SeeingXxViolet
Summary: Amu is freaking out, Kukai and Nagi are fighting, Yamabuki Saaya is famous, and as for Ikuto... well, be scared for Ikuto. Rima's and Tadase's solution? Vegas! - Crack! and maybe OOCness XD


**Hi people :D**

**I'm not sure why I wrote this little fic XD I think mostly to take a break from the angsty stories I'm working on. But anyway, I think that if any of the Guardians were to go to Vegas, it would be Tadase and Rima. They both seem to like playing cards, don't they? Well, I want them to go to Vegas. I just want to see it happen. So, without further ado, here it is! I hope you like it!**

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Yaya's brow was furrowed in concentration. She stared at the cards. Hard. The other Guardians waited expectantly. Finally, she looked up, and grinned. She slammed the cards down on the table, upturned, as she let out a peal of triumphant laughter. The others groaned as they saw the four aces seeming to shine up at them from the tabletop.

'Yaya is an ace!' Tadase announced cheerfully. He immediately felt his back go cold. He sweatdropped – he didn't have to look at Rima's face to know that she was sending death glares at him. The others laughed nervously.

'Minna!' Yaya began, changing the subject. Tadase, Rima, Kairi and Amu looked at her.

'Yes, Yaya-chan?'

'The holidays are coming up, and I've been thinking about where we should go!' Her eyes gleamed. 'Yaya votes we go to the Bermuda Triangle!'

Kairi pushed his glasses up his nose. 'Yaya, the Bermuda Triangle is very large. It covers the Straits of Florida, the Bahamas and the entire Caribbean island area. Where exactly in the Bermuda Triangle were you planning on going? Anyway, I doubt everyone else will share your desire to spend their holidays there.'

Yaya pouted. 'Fine,' she said sulkily. 'Where do you guys want to go, then?'

Tadase and Rima looked at each other over their cards. 'Vegas!' they declared in unison.

Amu scrunched her nose. Tadase thought her face was extremely pretty when it was all twisted up like that. 'Vegas? Why do you want to go there?' she asked.

'We could make lots of money!' Tadase said enthusiastically. 'With my charismatic charm-'

'You mean your sparkles, sparkle boy,' Kairi interjected.

'And Mashiro-san's sharp judgement and discerning eye-'

At this Kairi only scoffed.

'We'll be rich in no time!' Tadase finished exuberantly.

Just at that moment, Amu's mobile rang. She picked it up. 'A text message from Ikuto!' she exclaimed in surprise.

'Ikuto-Niisan?' Tadase asked. 'What does it say?'

'Oh my goodness! He's been kidnapped by Easter Islanders! Guys, we have to go to Easter Island and rescue him!'

'Seriously?' Yaya complained, crossing her arms. 'Ikuto gets kidnapped more often than Rima-tan!'

Yaya was now the subject of Rima's death glares.

Kairi pushed his glasses up his nose. 'I highly doubt that he's been kidnapped by Easter Island inhabitants, that claim is highly unfeasible and illogical-'

'Do you think he'll be eaten?' Tadase asked. He giggled a little at the thought, until Amu gave him a horrified look.

'That is quite ridiculous. There are no cannibals on Easter Island. You can relax, Amu-chan, it is very unlikely that Tsukiyomi-san has actually been kidnapped. However,' he continued, 'I would relish the opportunity to study the island's famous Moai statues, the Ahu stonework, and of course the petroglyphs.'

'Okay! Let's go to Easter Island!' Amu chimed.

'Easter Island!' Yaya said gleefully.

Tadase and Rima were less pleased. They had really wanted to go to Vegas.

Amu uttered an exclamation of surprise as she received another text message from Ikuto. It read,

**AMU HELP OMG I THINK THEY'RE GOING TO EAT ME THEY PUT A WIERD PASTE ON MY SKIN**

'Guys!' Amu said, worried, 'Ikuto thinks he's going to be eaten!'

'He won't be eaten,' Kairi said confidently, pushing his glasses up his nose once more.

'Well, if you're that sure about it, then you must be right. Thank goodness,' Amu sighed, relieved.

They all looked up in astonishment as the doors to the Royal Garden suddenly burst open, and Nagihiko stormed in, looking visibly upset. He was followed closely by an exasperated Kukai.

'Nagi, come on,' Kukai exclaimed, 'stop being so ridiculous!'

'No! I've had it with you!' Nagihiko spun around and yelled at him, fists tightly clenched. 'You're awful!'

'Oh, _here_ we go,' Kukai said, voice dripping with sarcasm, 'I'm _al_ways the bad guy, aren't I? And you're always the _oh-so-innocent_ one. You know, I'm tired of your little acts and the way you turn around and pin it all on me-'

Nagi clamped his hands over his ears. 'Just shut up! I don't want to hear it anymore! One minute you can be so sweet and the next you're a complete jerk-'

'You know that our problems are just as much your fault as mine!'

'Just leave me alone,' Nagi finished these words on a sob. He turned away from Kukai and went to his bag, furiously placing his books inside, each one making a _thump_.

Kukai's eyes softened. 'Nagi, please don't,' he begged gently, coming up behind Nagi and tentatively putting a hand on his shoulder. 'We can work through this, I know we can.'

Nagi brushed at his face. Closing his eyes, he sighed and leaned back onto Kukai. 'What happened to us?' he said sadly.

'We got real, I guess,' Kukai reflected.

Nagi hesitated, then shrugged Kukai off and began zipping up his bag. 'Well, I guess this is it.' There was neither malice nor passion in his voice. Just a tired emptiness.

'Nagi?' Kukai said incredulously. 'Come on! Just think about this! Are you going to give up on us that easily?'

'Yeah,' Nagi said quietly. 'Something like that.' He swung his bag onto his back and made his way towards the doors.

Kukai's face was curled in fury. 'I don't believe this.'

Nagi's shoulders were tensed. 'Believe it.'

The other Guardians had been watching this exchange in stunned silence. Amu now cleared her throat nervously. Kukai and Nagihiko looked at her in surprise.

'Uh-um,' she began timidly. 'Before you two came in, we were discussing where to go for our holiday. And, uh, umm... well, where would you guys like to gah... ahh... go?' she faltered at the end, fidgeting with her hands.

Kukai scoffed. 'I don't care where we go, as long as it's far away from Nagihiko.'

'Why you...' Nagi spun around to face Kukai, temper flaring. He was quivering with rage. 'Why you – you – BAAAKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAA!' Suddenly Nagi's hair was in a ponytail, and he was swinging a scythe through the air. 'KUUUKAAAIII! I'LL SLICE YOU INTO LITTLE BITS!' Nagi launched himself at Kukai, eyes glinting madly.

Kukai yelped and ran away from Nagi. 'Argh! Someone help me!' he cried.

'Oh, he's character changed,' Kairi observed, shuffling papers with a bored expression. He opened a packet of chips and began crunching on one.

'Eh?' Amu fretted. 'Nagihiko-kun, please calm down! Stop trying to kill him! Nagihiko-kun!'

Nagi ignored Amu's pleas and continued to chase Kukai around the Royal Garden, knocking over statues, furniture and plants as he did so.

Just then, Amu received another text message from Ikuto. She read,

**AMU THEY LIT A FIRE! GIVE MY VIOLIN TO UTAU. AMU WHEN YOU GROW UP TO BE A CRAZY CAT LADY PLEASE THINK OF ME**

Amu was really worried now. But she had no time to fret, for amidst Kukai's screams, the Guardians heard another, smaller scream. Suddenly Dia floated up in front of them, crying and flailing her arms in panic. She darted about, shrieking.

'Dia? What's wrong?' Amu asked, alarmed.

The little yellow chara squealed. 'There's a spider on my head! A spider! On my head! It's big and scary and it's going to bite me EEEKKKK!' She screamed, zooming about.

The Guardians looked at Dia more closely, and saw that there was, indeed, a spider on her head.

'Kiseki!' Tadase called sternly.

'Yes?' Kiseki asked, flying to Tadase's side.

'Did you or one of the other charas put a spider on Dia's head?'

Kiseki huffed. 'It wasn't me! It was...' he glanced back at the other charas. Miki and Ran wore very guilty expressions.

'Miki!' Amu exclaimed. 'Ran!'

'It was only meant to be a joke,' they said sheepishly, staring at their feet.

'Well, does it look funny to you?' Amu said crossly, gesturing to Dia, who was still flying around the room in a panic.

Ran covered her mouth, stifling a giggle. 'A little,' she confessed. Within moments, Miki was laughing too. Amu looked appalled.

Presently Kairi sighed and turned on a television. Tadase was startled. Since when had there been a television in the Royal Garden?

'Uh, Kairi?' he asked. 'Where did you get the television from?'

Kairi was munching on his packet of chips. 'Well, I brought it from home, obviously,' he replied between mouthfuls.

Tadase surveyed the situation in the Royal Garden. Nagihiko was still chasing Kukai around the room with a scythe, shouting death threats at him. Amu was occupied with trying to calm down a wailing Dia. In her panicked flight Dia was knocking into objects and people. Yaya and Rima sat at the table, looking immensely bored. Kairi was enraptured with the television.

Yaya perked up as a new commercial came onto the television screen. 'Yamabuki Saaya-san?' She said disbelievingly. Rima raised her eyebrow. There, on a toothpaste ad, was Yamabuki Saaya. She was grinning widely, showing off her pearly whites.

'She's famous now,' Kairi informed them, still guzzling chips. 'She practically became famous overnight. She's a singer. Some are saying that she's rivalling Utau-san for popularity.' As if in confirmation of his words, the commercial ended and the program that was showing appeared. It was a music video, and sure enough, Yamabuki Saaya was the star of it, belting out notes. She danced in a long purple gown, glittering effects all around her. In the video she stood at the top of a mountain. The sky was a dark gold colour, with stars falling and being caught in her outstretched hands.

Rima felt nauseous watching her, and turned away.

'Wow, I like this song!' Yaya exclaimed. She started humming along to it. Kairi was still transfixed to the screen as he brought chip after chip to his mouth, snapping each one with a _crunch_.

'Tadase, this is lame,' Rima complained.

'Uh... yes, things are turning out quite strangely today, aren't they?' He turned to watch Amu, who was still trying to calm down Dia.

'Dia!' Amu pleaded, 'Stop bumping into things! Stop shrieking! The spider's harmless – just calm down!'

Amu received another text message and groaned. Still rushing about after Dia, she read,

**AMU THEY'RE TAKING MY CLOTHES OFF I THINK THIS IS THE END**

'Oh no!' Amu exclaimed woefully, then, 'Dia!' she shrieked as Dia smacked headfirst into a hanging plant pot and fell dizzily to the ground.

'Do you think we should help her?' Tadase asked Rima.

'_No_, I think we should go to Vegas,' Rima pertly replied.

Suddenly, their conversation was interrupted as none other than Tsukiyomi Utau strode into the Royal Garden. Tadase's and Rima's mouths dropped open in shock, not at what she was wearing – though that was shocking enough to warrant their mouths dropping open – but at what she was holding. In Utau's arms was a loudly wailing baby. Utau strode straight up to Amu.

'Here, look after this for me for a while, would you?' She dropped the screaming infant into Amu's arms and walked out.

'Eh? A baby?' Amu questioned as she looked at the screeching child in her arms. 'Ehh? EEEHHHHHHHH?' Amu laid the baby on the floor and started flapping her arms in panic. 'OH-MY-GOODNESS! What do I do?' She cried, spinning around and spazzing in that way that only Amu was capable of spazzing.

_How the hell did Utau-chan aquire a baby?_ Tadase wondered. He sighed, it was just one of many of today's odd questions that he would never know the answer to.

Yaya's head popped up from where she had dozed off on the table top, spilling juice on a large pile of paperwork.

'A baby?' Yaya asked. 'Yaya can help!' She bounced off her chair and ran to Amu's side. Character changing, she took out a very large rattle. 'Here, baby. Sleep, baby, baby.' And within seconds Yaya fell fast asleep. The infant, meanwhile, was still howling as loudly as ever.

Rima pouted and sipped daintily at her tea as she and Tadase looked around at the chaos in the Royal Garden. Kukai was still being pursued by an enraged and murderous Nagi. Kairi was staring at the television screen and downing chips so fast that Tadase was afraid he might choke. Dia had fainted on the ground, and her eight-legged, hairy tormentor had scuttled off to some far corner of the room where it could be in peace. Yaya was asleep, Amu was panicking and trying to care for a baby whose parents she had no idea where or even who they were, and from what Tadase knew of Ikuto's predicament, well, Tadase really didn't want to think about it. Rima sighed and placed her tea cup down in its saucer. She stood up. Tadase stood as well.

'Mashiro-san?'

'Screw this. Let's go to Vegas.'

And they did. They got rich, drank lots of alcohol, had many whacky adventures, made TIME's list of the 100 Most Influential People, and lived happily ever after.

The End.

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**Hooray! XD! Well thank goodness that's over. Please review? =3 **

**I hope you enjoyed it! I'm considering writing a sequel about what Tadase and Rima actually **_**do**_** while in Vegas... yep, I can picture it now haha. So, tell me what you think! And thanks for reading! **

**Ikuto: Wait – hey, wait! Now hold up a minute. I'm going to be eaten? I don't approve of this.**

**SeeingXxViolet: You're naked, aren't you?**

**Ikuto: Oh... yeah. *Shrugs* Well, I suppose there's a positive side to everything.**

**Utau: My poor sweet brother Ikuto! *Wipes away a tear* Perverted until the very end!**

**Btw, I don't own Shugo Chara!**


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